Painting by Pierre Chandelier, courtesy of Galerie Elégance, Mougins, France (near Cannes)
After three months of travel, we’re back in Burgundy this week, which has me in a contemplative mood. When we moved to France nine years ago, full time and in one fell swoop, I was determined to use the word ‘home’ for France. Although I love Charleston, I wanted to realign my thinking. For the long or the short term, home was to be in France.
Recently at a dinner party with a dozen ex-pats, and five or six countries represented as usual, the visiting daughter of our hostess starting asking some interesting questions of the group. Were we all glad we’d moved here? Yes's all round. Was anyone thinking of ‘going back’ anytime soon? Not a one. OK she said, so where do you consider ‘home’ to be?
The surprising answer: not a single expat answered that France was ‘home’. Even a Brit who had spent much of her adult life here and had a French husband and children.
Ties to home countries are strong, in spite of the adventurous spirits of voluntary expats. Before we came I read something that really caught my attention. The article said that folks who live in a foreign country for a while never quite feel at home in either country, they will be adrift in that ocean between the two. You may miss whichever country you’re not in at the moment. You will have had experiences that the friends/family you left behind can’t begin to understand; and you will have missed parts of their lives as well. You can go home again, but you won’t be the same person as when you left. Now that I’ve been here a while, I know that it’s absolutely true. Photo: Coming home this week, to the Château de Balleure.
The feeling can be unsettling, but I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Maybe home can be a shifting, expanding place. It’s where Ron and our cat are, and the people we love and who love us. We’re blessed to have those on both sides of the pond.
A curious side note: The French language does not have a word that translates to ‘home’ as we know it, despite their unusually strong attachment to their country and immediate family. Nor do they have a word for ‘cozy’. Chez nous: perhaps that says all you need to know about coming home.
Now let's celebrate our home-coming with du vin, bien sûr, and a yummy French nibble to go with it.
RECIPE: Your Favorite New (healthy! easy!) Snack: Toasted Baguettes Provençal
I've started making these homemade 'crackers', and I can hardly make them fast enough to keep up wtih demand. Luckily they take about 5 minutes to make. I'm willing to bet that if you try them they'll become your favorite munchie. Healthy, too!
Pre-heat oven to 325F (160C). Slice a baquette, as thinly as you can. If you can find a whole grain baquette it's even better; I normally use un pain aux céréales, which is an oval-shaped multi-grain loaf. Cut slices on the diagonal if you want them larger.
Brush both sides of each slice with olive oil. Place them on a baking sheet and sprinkle with some good sea salt and fresh ground pepper. Sprinkle liberally with herbes de Provence. Bake about 9 minutes; they should be golden brown and crunchy. Sample immediately. If there are any left, store them in a plastic bag.
Other flavors: In place of the herbes de Provence you could use garlic salt, celery salt, cayenne pepper, chipolte chili powder, or whatever herb that suits your fancy. You can also rub the cut slices with a cut clove of garlic before adding spices. They can be used as a base for French tartines, or Italian bruschetta.
In the Comments: Betsy asks about the immersion school we attended that I mentioned. Read all about it in my post from 2/11, Staying Afloat When Immersion is the Answer. RE beautiful walks, Liza suggest the Via dell'Amore in Cinque Terre. That's not a bad walk either!
Our Reader's Blogs: Speaking of expats, one busy site is called Survive France Network, where you can get all kinds of useful info from folks who live there.
It's spring, time to check in on the happenings at Your Garden Show. I think of this site as the Facebook of gardens, where you can look at other gardens and connect with gardeners. Also a Q&A show, an heirloom seed contest, a save-the-bees project, and more. And if you love Paris in the springtime, a good place to start your trip planning is at Diane and Mark's Paris Insider's Guide. You can subscribe to their Le Petit Journal to be sure you don't miss any Paris scoops.
10 thoughts on “Back in Burgundy, But Where is ‘Home’?”
Dear Lynn,
I so relate to your feelings about coming home. Between 1975 and 2009 I followed my husband who worked for the State Department around the world. We lived an average of two or three years in various countries. We are now retired in Fearrington Village, a small village just south of Chapel Hill, NC. It was a truly wonderful life, but the only drawback is that we are not “home.” The feeling of being home was lost when I left my French Canadian home town to join the Foreign Service and was sent to Moscow as my first assignment in 1976. I came “home” after three years for Christmas, only to realize that yes, you can come home again, but things will never be the same. The intimacy of the daily life with your loved ones will never be as it was, and they will never understand that your love of travels was stronger than family ties.
Colette
Hello there! It is sooooooo true what you wrote about being “shared” between two countries: I have lived in the USA for the past 23 years, and between the two, “mon coeur balance” each time. And the older I get, the more melancholic I feel about “home” which is France.
By the way for “cozy” we use “douillet”.
Warm regards,
Patricia.
Many of us dream of living in France, even if only for a short time as compared to you and Ron. Loved reading your post today.
I also clicked on the link regarding your immersion school experience. I tried some lessons in Paris a couple of years ago and nearly every student in the class was Asian. I had great respect for our teacher who could actually understand their accent. I think an immersion program like Villefranche-sur-Mer is the way to go. Perhaps one day, I’ll try it.
As one who has moved around a bit (only in the US) I do understand your feelings. We learn to make home about those around us. Though, as a Southerner….the South is home for me in a way that no other region has been. Love your insights!
I was out of my hometown and my state for several years while earning my succession of degrees. I came home fairly often and called, but as each year passed I felt more and more out of the loop because I wasn’t involved in the weekly family events and conversations. Now that I’ve been fully “home” for over 20 years, I still feel a bit out of the loop because a new family dynamic had developed for the ten or so years I was gone. Even though I’m in France for only 4-6 weeks each summer, I have that same feeling that I’ve missed so much that I’ll never catch up on. But I’ll never stop traveling and am still counting on someday having a place of my own for extended visits to France. However, I know that it will not be my way to move there all together.
After 25+ years in Texas my local friends try to tell me that I am now “an honorary Texan” or some such. I thank them politely and say no, I’m a Pennsylvanian… even though I’ve lived here longer than I lived there. Hmmm… something about where the heart is, I guess? Love your photos as always… thank you!
What a lovely essay,thought provoking, so heartfelt and true it seems Lynn. I agree that home is where the heart is and that the heart can also love to travel. Wherever I am, my husband now of fifteen years is home to me after awhile to a large extent. I have been blessed to live in a number of wonderful countries over the years as well and seem to make each place “home’ for that period of time.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, wisdom and joie de vivre…not to mention the fab recipes with all of us.
Lynn,
I understand so well what you write… I consider ‘home’ to be a multiple these days… but as time goes on europe is more and more where I feel at home… Lovely post… xv
Lynn….I can relate to what you are saying…when I am in the States, I miss France and when I am in France I miss the States…….we have so much in common….I have a home in North Carolina but spend many months in France….I, too, spent a month at Institut de Francais in 2002 and adored it…would take nothing for that experience…..Perhaps we can meet at some point, I am in the Var most of the time (Les Arcs s/Argens) and otherwise, the Vaucluse. I enjoy your blog very much….
It’s Le Jardin du Luxembourg for me. Home sweet home whenever I’m there or close enough to walk which is pretty much all of Paris:) Even some of the trees are my old friends now.
Mel