Photo: A French shopkeepr's dog ignores a tourist.
It’s one of those French mysteries we may never unravel. I’ve read the books on how well-behaved their children are (it’s true). But did you know their dogs behave totally differently too?
I noticed it right away when we moved here. The dogs seem to have adopted the reserved personalities of their French owners. Photo, right: we often encounter this darling dog who lives on a yacht in the Cap Ferrat harbor. He is fiercely loyal to his owner but gives us the cold shoulder.
Now, I’m a huge animal lover, and when I see a dog in the US, I’m in the habit of going right over and petting it and talking to it, and perhaps complimenting the owner on their cute dog. Who will then normally want to talk dogs with you, all day if you let them.
I quickly learned that in France, touching someone’s dog is unacceptable behavior (though I admit I often do it anyway). First of all, the owner likely will not appreciate it; they will give you a stiff smile, if they give you one at all, and pull the dog quickly away. Clearly you have invaded their space.
But here is the weird thing. The DOG will not be friendly either! I’d say 90% of the time, the dog will either back away, or else be completely disinterested in the attention. Unlike an American dog, who will bound over, wag his tail, maybe even jump up on you. I can’t even imagine that you could beat this sort of behavior out of dogs, who seem naturally sociable. So how do they do it?
Dear Readers, I’m hoping you’ve got some answers for me, because I’m baffled. Though I did closely observe Nicole and Pierre’s grand-daughter, who was at the château recently for a visit with her new lab puppy. We were inside, but she kept that pup on a short leash, figuratively. She talked to him sternly if he approached anyone or jumped around, and she was cautious in allowing anyone to pet him. “He’s still in training,” she explained. Photo left: The French do seem to adore their dogs. This sweet lab, left, seems spoiled enough, on his fur rug.
I guess the French have just got this discipline thing down pat. If anyone has similar experiences, or better yet, some answers, please leave a comment—and you probably should write a book!
Photo, right: No this is not a dog, but it’s a French cat who thinks he is. This is our own resident rodent, Domino, who is not actually barking (he would if he could), but yawning. He follows us around like a loyal canine, and attacks any dog who irritates him, no matter what size.
My apologies to anyone who couldn't get on the blog last week. My server, Typepad, experienced an attack by cyber criminals who demanded a ransom. Yikes!
In the COMMENTS: Maria asks about houses for rent on the Riviera, so I thought I'd share my ideas with all. Shelly Dobyns is an American living in Villefranche-sur-Mer (a village across from Cap Ferrat which is equally charming), and she's personally renovated and decorated several properties which I can highly recommend, for both their charm and value. See them at Riviera Experience. In addition, Bruno Defforge (married to our author below) has a turn-key vacation rental property service called France Finesse, for Nice and the surrounding area.
Merci to Suzanne, Colleen, and Christine for more good ideas on what to do with the Mediterranean Mix-up. Jan, sounds like a fabulous trip. Liza, that truly would be amazing!
17 thoughts on “A Dog’s Life in France”
I know exactly what you’re talking about and I have no answers. I do think that the dogs behave so well in public (and restaurants, Eurodif stores, etc.) because they are so socialized. In the U.S., dogs spend so much time alone or at home that when they go out in the world it’s so strange they act up. Also, in the U.S. everyone believes their dogs are perfect although they never formally train them, they don’t need a leash, are sooooo friendly, or the opposite of don’t like other dogs that it can be a hazard trying to take my own well-trained dogs on a walk. But, no, I never see a French dog being friendly with a stranger.
I noticed this phenomenon the moment we set foot in France. I, too, am a dog lover. Not having a dog, I often shower attention on dogs I meet while I’m out. In France, I was immediately frustrated with my lack of ability to attract the attention of and the inability to shower affection on the French canines.
Other than puppies, I’ve only met _one_ dog that would let me pet and play with her like an American dog. When pulled into the marina in Mulhouse (close to the German and Swiss borders in Alsace), little Schena barked furiously at us, getting the attention of her owner, the port captain. The moment she saw we were checked into the marina, she became friendly, never barking at us again and greeting us each time we walked back into the port from the city. We played fetch and tug of war and she was happy to sit in my lap when we were lounging at the communal pavilion in port.
Schena never barked at any of the boaters as they came and went from the port, but, if a stranger walked in — look out! She’d bark furiously, altering everybody a stranger had arrived. I think she must have thought that all the cruisers in port were her family!
I have heard (and experienced) that dogs reflect the personality of their owners, so that would make for a simple explanation…the French are a reserved people. They are not smilers, they are not intrusive (except in lines when they are horrible!), and they are raised from infancy that there is a certain way to behave. It does not seem at all unusual to me that they would train their dogs this way.
Now, what about the cats?!
Hi Lynn – Thanks so much for the shout out for me and for Bruno. Let’s get together again next time you’re in town and in the meantime, all our best to you both!
OMGosh – I am exactly like you…cannot pass a dog without stopping to pet, talk lovingly, etc. Yes, dog owners here are very receptive and kind about allowing that. I allow it with my little guy; however, I do always say thank you for sharing to the owners. I too am completely amazed at the French custom of being much less receptive, if at all. The answer must be in how the dogs are raised. I am baffled.
Lynn,
When we were in France a year and a half ago, I encountered several people with small dogs (primarily white like ours) whom I stopped on the street (like any self-respecting tourist who thinks the world is hers) and chatted about our dog (that we missed while there). To a person, they were all very friendly and engaging asking us where we were from, why we were there, relating their similar travel stories. Those encounters were some of my most animated experiences.
On the other hand, I never put my hand out to touch them with one exception. In Moliets, there was a Maltese or Havanese in the complex that would approach the back door and scratch until we paid attention. His owner seemed distraught about it, but in a very friendly and apologetic way. Once again, I explained that we missed our little dog (bichon) and enjoyed the atttention. She was very friendly about it.
On our trip in the fall, I’m going to pay attention to this concept of “dog touching.” Very interesting. As to orderly behavior, I’m sure this is why restaurants and the like are so dog tolerant. We’ve discussed taking our dog several times but have never done it.
Chris
Lynn, for a VERY relaxing escape to a beautiful area and a 10th. Century castle with WONDERFUL food and wine, discover Chateau Trigance, 2 hours north of Nice at the east end of the Gorges du Verdon. We first stayed there in 97 but return almost every year because it is that good!! The family THOMAS will ensure you have a pleasant stay.
I think that some native French writer should write a “how to” book – or raising children and puppies. I recall a lovely Labrador at a sidewalk café, lying quietly right next to his owner, without moving, just like a guide dog. And the French children I was were quiet, polite, respectful, like the “seen but not heard” children of my day.
I suspect that French cats, like all cats, are hard to train and few make the attempt.
I don’t supposed any of your readers has a vacation rental recommendation (this fall) for the Dodorgne valley?
I’ve not heard of such a strange thing as this Lynn. Quite remarkable to hear the difference with the pets in France. I have not a single clue for this but very interesting to remember as well. I could stand a happy medium though. Slobbering dogs & their owners should be taught some manners.
Lynn,any post regarding dogs is a favorite and your one today is at the top of the list.
Our two Yorkies don’t bite,but we really don’t like a stranger coming up to them and either trying to be friendly without permission or sticking their hands in their faces–one woman repeatedly did this and asked “Do they want to lick my fingers?”(whaaaat???Who the heck are you?NO!)
They consider themselves our guardians and will NOT change what is basically their instincts to protect us unless we give the okay.
I understand the thinking involved by the French here and agree with it.We were told(by their trainer) to say that our ‘kids’ are in training,too.There are times when I wish it didn’t fall on the deaf ears of passers-by!
French dogs now will enjoy more protection from mistreatment or cruelty and can also inherit property. France just enacted a law giving them complete rights as living beings instead of just “property.” Yay for the French!
I can’t imagine why the dogs are “standoffish” in France. Are the French people that way? I know that I have heard that they have the reputation of being rude and don’t have the “personal space” around them the way we do. I remember a French roommate I once had in a ski resort and she definitely invaded my personal space by bumping into me frequently and never apologizing like we Americans do.
It would be hard to avoid petting a dog if one is a dog lover!
Lynn: Mille merci, muchas gracias, thank you for the information you sent me about rentals. i’ m very grateful.
Keep up your good work showing us all your trips in France. I really enjoy all the places that you stay and eat. it’s like the green Michelin.
This is for Michaela Rodeno. I have a friend who stays at Hotel La Couleuvrine in Sarlat- near the Dordogne area and he likes it . Check it out.
I have a series of photos of Parisians with their dogs where they actually posed for a photo with their fur babies!!! I haven’t tried to pet one as I’m always a bit afraid I might get bitten though.
I have a book recommendation for you and your readers, THE FRENCH CAT by Rachael Hale. Shot in the south of France it has the most gorgeous photographs and beautiful cats. I have it on my coffee table and my Meeps will often climb up and sit on it. She is the smartest chat noir ever!
V
Thank you for the information you sent me about rentals. i’ m very grateful.Keep up your good work showing us all your trips in France. I really enjoy all the places that you stay and eat. it’s like the green Michelin.
It’s fascinating how differently French dogs behave compared to their American counterparts! The reserved nature of these dogs truly mirrors their owners’ personalities. I love how you’ve observed and shared these cultural differences. It’s intriguing that the discipline and training of dogs in France result in such well-mannered behavior. As an animal lover, it’s certainly a unique experience. Would love to hear more insights from others on this charming mystery!