Today let us contemplate the infamous Christmas Letter. That purveyor of the humblebrag, or perhaps the lengthy and sleep-inducing tome from a distant cousin. We love them, we hate them, we send them anyway.
This week I was sipping a glass of wine with Nicole and I asked her if the French typically send Christmas letters, as the Americans do. She made a face. “Bah oui, je les deteste!”, she said. “I don’t want a five page letter from someone I barely know, telling me all about their children’s piano lessons.”
I had a good laugh at this. Some things are just universal.
Confession: I send a Christmas letter to close friends, but I endeavor to keep it short, creative, and interesting. I might send one in the form of a song or a poem or a puzzle; this year it will be a quiz. I’ve decided to share with you the one I sent last year.
Last year we decided to let our cat, Domino, write the Christmas letter. A little background for those of you who have not had the pleasure of meeting him: he is a rescue cat with feral roots who nevertheless considers himself to be of royal origins. He alternates between extravagant affection and worrisome aggression when crossed. His marked territory includes the entire village. He breakfasts/dines/naps with so many village families that we are not entirely sure we are his main proprietors. He has no fear of dogs, large or small; loud noises do not faze him. He walks at a single, slow speed, with a swagger that has caused one neighbor to dub him “John Wayne”. In the South we would call him sassy, here we would say coquin. (Photo above: the auteur, getting ready to celebrate Christmas). Here is what Domino had to say in his Christmas letter:
Coucou toute le monde,
Well it’s March at the moment and those two abusive, useless staff of mine are finally back from wherever they spend the nasty month of February, somewhere down on the coast. Not that it bothers me much. I’ve got another French family: my maison secondaire with my own chair by the fire, and of course I breakfast with the other French neighbors and have apperos with the Dutch ones, where I also have a personal nest and my own special treats. But still, leaving me was so wrong.
It’s June now and some noisy women are visiting. They laugh and carry on then go off to Provence to shop and travel. They abandoned me for a week but at least my Man is still around. It’s been a nice quiet week, and—-no wait, they’re back! Geez, and I hear there are other intruders lined up to visit. It's going to be a long summer.
Already the summer has been too crazy around here, with the neighbors dropping by constantly. The women are fluffing up each other’s houses with flea market junk, the guys are building furniture and stuff, always a commotion. The neighbors are alright though. When I go over chez eux, they give me chicken.
Now It’s August and there’s all sorts of talk about some château, where my staff used to live, being sold. Of course I never got to live there, that other cat did. They’re always going over there for parties and French lessons. (Hah! They should be truly bi-lingual, like me). Everyone seems sad about it. No skin off my pink nose.
It's late November now, and I see the suitcases coming out again. I’ve attacked the staff viciously a couple of times to let them know I don’t like it, but they seem determined. Well, tant pis, let them go. They’ll be visiting some other country for Christmas. I’ll just stick around here, where they know how to make a good paté, and the cheese is better.
Well, gotta go. It’s December, it’s frickin’ snowing here, but my staff are off on some tropical island with the whole family, leaving me to fend for myself for Christmas. Of course there WILL be foie gras, but still.
Merry Christmas or whatever,
Domino
And with that, my best wishes for a joyeux Noel and a very bonne année, to you and yours!
xxoo
Lynn
cc: Domino
In the COMMENTS: Iris, Libby, and Julie, you are so right about Picard! That's why the clever French woman in my story could (almost) get away with it. There is really nothing in the states to compare it to. Ann, enjoy Paris!
20 thoughts on “A French Christmas Letter”
Domino is adorable & I’m so impressed with his skill of writing. Such a beautiful cat & frankly, I like Domino’s letter much better than some of the letter’s I’ve received. Joyeux Noel Lynn to you and your family & of course Domino as well.
Joyeux Noël ! Cette lettre est fabuleuse !
Salut Lynn,
Domino’s letter was super!
Question. . . . When changing out Domino’s “sand box” on December 25th , did you use did you use un litter de noël?
Enjoy the holidays.
Herm
Joyeux Noel toute la famille! Domino’s letter is so cute. And that second shot of him on the pillow is really fabulous. Leaves no doubt that he is truly a regal cat of distinguished origins! Snow here. Jacki Liddell, Boise, ID Christmas morning.
What a great idea! I’m stealing it for next year. Merry Christmas to you! Joyeux Noël!
Joyeux Noël. I am getting fewer Christmas letters than in the past, but some of them are quite interesting and I love them. This year was so hectic that I didn’t even get out Christmas cards, but I’m actually considering making and sending out cards to wish family and friends Bonne Année because so many friends now practice no or other faiths but I want a way to simply wish them all well.
Paris was wonderful. The Marais is highly recommended. It was wonderful to see the green hills and hedgerow of Burgundy come into sight at the train station in Luzy. We are thinking of a trip to Solutre/Pouilly/Fuisse area. Any suggestions for accomdations woud be appreciated. Thanks for the Christmas letter – part could have written by our dogs in NC. Merry Christmas.
Lynn,Domino is beautiful and his letter is WONDERFUL!!
And!An extremely good idea because we WANTED to read about both his world
and his–and yours!-activities.(I am with Nicole about a strange child’s piano lessons!)
Dog lovers that we are,we have always made photo Christmas cards featuring a really nice picture of our Yorkies along with holiday greetings.Since we’ve been blessed with Rose Alis and Aristotle in our lives,we also make a bunch of( 12 month)calendars,each month with a different photo.(they love to pose)
These are gifts for family and special friends.We figured one picture is worth a thousand words,
and this way nobody will get bored.
Joyeux Noel,dear Lynn,to you and yours.
Your posts are always a wonderful gift to us.
Thank you!
Deeee-lightful, Lynn. Hope you have had a lovely Christmas.
Chris
Thank-you for that wonderful post, you have to love them don’t you. So much their own ‘person’ and complete free-spirits.It’s almost as if they allow you to look after them. Our ’employer’, a marmalade cat(NOT ginger, Heaven forbid!!) adopted us when he was an abandonné of about 6 months old and is now a very handsome & completely spoilt almost 10 years old! Like your Domino he loves affection, but on his terms and has ‘boxed my ears’ on more than one occasion for an over-exuberance of loving behaviour on my part. Hey ho!
Keep up the good work and hoping you enjoy the rest of the Festivities and have a Happy, Healthy & Peaceful New Year 2016.
Great letter, Domino. Nothing like putting the staff in its place! You can come to my place anytime you want.
Brilliant and fun, merci beaucoup. Joyeux Noel et un tres bonne annee. Hope to see you in 2016!
What a clever cat! Domino made me laugh out loud several times! Especially funny to me was his saying that y’all “should be truly bi-lingual like me.” I love that he has his “maison secondaire” to visit too. That reminds me of a wonderful children’s book, called SIX DINNER SID, by Inga Moore, in which a rescue name Sid divides his time between 6 families, before finally being found out by his vet.
And I want to mention that I saw a repeat of Rick Steve’s Christmas tour on PBS, and it featured a little town in Burgundy, and the countryside was so exquisitely beautiful, I’m longing to visit.
Thanks, Lynn, for SFF, and Happy New Year. My kitty Sassy says the same to Domino. She forgot how to say it in French.
I know this was last year’s letter, but I am sure Domino is still relying on the comfort of strangers for the Holidays……how dare you!!?
I am pretty sure that was my Picard story you related last month, but I must say I have used them pretty regularly since my initiation! Quite simple, good and well received! Once I went to a friend’s house and complimented her extravagantly on the entree. Only to find out later that it was actually the Picard part that she did not cook.The rest was what she cooked which of course I did not comment on!
Ah, Picard! Always admit it….that is my guide!
Hope you had a great Christmas and ….Happy New Year! Loved the Qiuz as I told you!!
Joyeux Noel……(That’s French for Feliz Navidad)!! Love, alix
Well, I guess I have a cousin in your part of France! You might wish to someday take a look at http://www.livingwithloulou.com and see how much we have in common. Lovely Christmas letter, Domino and I detest them, too!!! But sometimes hearing about someone’s baby playing Chopin can be quite inspiring…..
Loulou
Bonne Annee Domino – hope you enjoyed your foie gras – our dog really likes smoked salmon ! happy New Year Lynn – do enjoy your posts X
La lettre de Domino m’a enchantée. Je l’ai lue et relue et chaque fois je partais en éclats de rire.
Son “staff” l’a très bien formé. Son style est parfait.
Domino : à bientôt ?
Happy New Year Lynn! It’s best that my two cats never get the notion to write about their lives with us here in the Dordogne. But, I can say that they are both tucked up against the radiators on these cold, rainy days. They are just storing up for when we head across the great big pond and leave them to be creative in their entertainment….. Thank you for all the lovely stories in 2015. Looking forward to 2016 adventures!
hello there, Lynn! Been following you for a good 2 years now, and I thoroughly enjoy reading your life in France 🙂 – it makes me live there vicariously , which I’ve been dreaming of doing for years!… and which I hope to do when I retire (in 1 1/2 years :-)…I especially enjoyed this post – the Christmas letter format is a brilliant idea 🙂 …hope to meet and chat with you someday soon 🙂
Absolument charmant! L’annee prochaie je ferai parler ma chatte Casey Main Coon dans ma lettre de Noel.
Merci Mille Fois, Janine