Dining Out, Conversation Discouraged

First of all, my apologies—my server sent out duplicate emails last week. Trying to fix the problem.

French dining en plein air (in our slightly younger days)

I recently read an article in the New York times, in which the writer was recommending a certain piece of music as being the perfect background music for restaurants. The short article generated a gazillion impassioned reader comments about their preferred restaurant music. The commenters were in clear agreement about what the best restaurant background music was. Classical? Oldies? Current pop? Rock? See if you can guess.

We will reveal that in a minute, but first let me tell you about a recent visit to a gourmet restaurant in Charleston (we are in Charleston at the moment). This was a newish French restaurant called Maison. The food was delicious, the service was good. We sat outside on the terrace. But what was not at all "French" about it: they played impossibly loud, pop/rock music with a throbbing beat you could feel in your bones. Our table of 6 struggled to have a conversation. The waiter declined to turn it down for us: “We need the buzz”, he said.

Do we really? I am using Maison as an example. They are by no means the only upscale Charleston restaurant to play loud music of the sort loved mostly by pre-teens; It’s pretty much the norm. (By the way, I love music, but I hate to listen to music I don't like. You?). Of course we are spoiled: we live in France, where restaurants typically avoid background music altogether, or at most play something soft and peaceful you are barely aware of. Why? Because in France, conversation and relaxation are the goal. No need to be hip or buzzy or whatever American restaurants are striving for. The French keep their voices way lower, too. Of course one doesn't get in the habit of shouting, if the music is not blaring.

No noise problem here! A late lunch in the city of Reims.

Ruth Reichl, former editor of Gourmet and famous food writer, was recently asked in an interview what she disliked the most about US restaurant trends at the moment. Her answer: the incessant loud noise, which includes background music and the lack of softening acoustical material (like curtains, rugs, and other sound absorbers). The noise in many restaurants, by the way, is damaging the hearing of some servers, permanently. Everyone I know complains about it—so it baffles me why they do it. Restauranteurs, have you considered that we might want to actually converse with our friends?

Now, back to those New York Times readers, what was the majority vote? Their choice for the best background restaurant music was: no music at all.

Thanks for allowing me to rant, it's obviously a pet peeve of mine in the States. Now what are your thoughts? Let’s take a vote on your favorite restaurant music.

In the COMMENTS: So many chicken suggestions! Cynthia reminds us that chicken stock is easy and essential to make with the bones, skin, and fat. I think it's one of the best reasons to roast a chicken. Ann makes a recipe that has her turkey wearing falsies–don't miss that one. Natalia, I agree: never ever a factory-raised chicken. Not good for you OR the bird. Rollin kindly gave us a link to a simple but tasty recipe by the great Marcella Hazen. Paula has an easy brining technique and a link to her favorite chicken with olives. Peggy cooks a chicken inside a Dutch oven (actually a common French technique). Julie, your daughter has come a long way, and southern fried chicken may be the best of all.

Speaking of southern, reader Page Robertson sends us her favorite Brunswick Stew recipe. When I was eating meat, this was my favorite food (Page says you can make it vegetarian by substituting jackfruit! Hmm).

Brunswick Stew

Makes 8-10 Qt.—easy to half

5-6 lb. whole roaster chicken or equivalent boneless parts
1-2 lb. pulled pork, chopped
2 sticks butter
2 large onions, chopped 1 inch
3 stalks celery, chopped 1 inch
1 C. thick BBQ sauce
1 C. brown sugar
1 – 28 oz. can chopped tomatoes
1 lb. frozen sliced okra
2 lb. frozen mixed vegetables
2 Tbsp. salt
1 tsp. black pepper
2 tsp. Worchestershire
½ tsp. hot sauce
½ tsp. cayenne
½ tsp smoky paprika or chili powder
3 cloves garlic, chopped
2 Tbsp each fresh thyme, rosemary, oregano—pulled from stems
4 bay leaves

Cook chicken until just done and chop in bite size pieces. RESERVE BROTH

Saute onions, celery, garlic in butter until tender. Add remaining spices, herbs.

Put all ingredients into soup pot or crockpot and stir. Add chicken broth to cover,

reserve remaining to add if necessary.

Bring to a boil and cook on low/simmer 4 hr. or longer. Correct seasonings, esp.

salt and peppers. We like it spicy. Freeze in serving portions as desired.

Favorite READS: I've been reading The Thursday Murder Club, by Richard Osman. Hilarious and original. And speaking of our reader Page Robertson (above), it happens that her daughter is digital editor of Flower Magazine, which a friend happened to give me a copy of this week. It's a beautiful magazine and you will love their site, which you can find here. My friend Sandi is reading something Parisian that I can't wait to read: My Place at the Table: A Recipe for a Delicious Life in Paris, a memoir by Alexander Lobrano. And my friend Rita found a nifty little cookbook called French Cooking in 10 Minutes. Is that possible?!

57 thoughts on “Dining Out, Conversation Discouraged”

Jacqueline McCargar Rowe
November 21, 2021 at 2:56 pm

One of my pet peeves as well is going to a restaurant where there is nothing to deaden the noise of the people there, I don’t understand why they do that. It’s very annoying

Loading...

Reply
Michaela K Rodeno
November 22, 2021 at 1:17 am

I just finished reading The Thursday Murder Club a few days ago, and am in complete agreement. Original, funny, thought provoking. The author has another one out…
Also agree about loud music in restaurants. I hope restaurateurs get the message.

Loading...

Reply
Michaela K Rodeno
November 22, 2021 at 1:17 am

I just finished reading The Thursday Murder Club a few days ago, and am in complete agreement. Original, funny, thought provoking. The author has another one out…
Also agree about loud music in restaurants. I hope restaurateurs get the message.

Loading...

Reply
Michaela K Rodeno
November 22, 2021 at 1:17 am

I just finished reading The Thursday Murder Club a few days ago, and am in complete agreement. Original, funny, thought provoking. The author has another one out…
Also agree about loud music in restaurants. I hope restaurateurs get the message.

Loading...

Reply
jay gould
December 1, 2021 at 1:54 pm

loud music is also a pet peeve, but i have to disagree regarding your comments about the French speaking in lower voices in restaurants. recently returned from Paris, and dining in high end bistros this trip – the French are just as loud as Americans here; as well as being obnoxious towards those sitting nearby so, i would be careful in characterizing something that no exists.

Loading...

Reply
jay gould
December 1, 2021 at 1:54 pm

loud music is also a pet peeve, but i have to disagree regarding your comments about the French speaking in lower voices in restaurants. recently returned from Paris, and dining in high end bistros this trip – the French are just as loud as Americans here; as well as being obnoxious towards those sitting nearby so, i would be careful in characterizing something that no exists.

Loading...

Reply
jay gould
December 1, 2021 at 1:54 pm

loud music is also a pet peeve, but i have to disagree regarding your comments about the French speaking in lower voices in restaurants. recently returned from Paris, and dining in high end bistros this trip – the French are just as loud as Americans here; as well as being obnoxious towards those sitting nearby so, i would be careful in characterizing something that no exists.

Loading...

Reply