It is a stereotype that the French hate Americans. But then, who could love us when we renamed French fries “freedom fries” and poured out their precious wine, after the war in Iraq started? But the tension and competition go back much further.
Like many clichés, there’s a soupçon of truth inside that tired trope. But the French are also fascinated by Americans, as we are by them. In other words: It’s complicated.
So, while hate is way too strong a word, here are some things which over the years I personally have heard the French, ever proudly critical, complain about when it comes to Americans:
We are loud. And if you’ve ever eaten in a crowded US restaurant, then in a French one, you know this one is absolutely true.
We are insincere. The French don’t smile a lot, or open up to strangers, or lavish others with compliments. They don’t “gush”, like we do. So they tend to view that behavior as overwrought drama.
We love guns. Only hunters have legal guns here in France, and they must have a hunting license and undergo a psychological evaluation to get one. And there is way less violent crime in France. Increasingly our French friends are saying they are reluctant to travel to America, they are afraid of mass shootings and crime (so are we).
We don’t speak their language. The beautiful French language is revered in France with a religious zeal. Europeans, especially, learn to speak French early and European ex-pats nearly always speak French. We older American ex-pats got a late start, so we really have to work at it. But working at it gives you a pass (for us, it’s means lifetime of French lessons and conversation groups, in addition to our natural immersion program). It’s the classic “Ugly American” who doesn’t even try to learn French.
There's also a sort of English creep (English words sneaking into the French language) which drives the purists bonkers.
We elected Trump. I have never met a single French person who was not completely baffled and appalled by his popularity. It's often their first question when they learn we are Americans. “What happened to the States? Why did you elect such a horrible person?”
They think we are all rich, and that we love to flaunt it. In France, money, wealth, investments. etc. are rarely discussed, and those with wealth often go to great lengths to hide it. Ostentatious displays of wealth are considered crass.
And what they love…
It goes without saying, they are still very very grateful for our role in World War II. We just went to a wonderful fête here in Beaune in which the US role was grandly celebrated.
They love to visit the States. The French are enthralled with the enormous size of our country, the wide open spaces, the nature and the parks. Most are also fascinated by New York City and California; I sometimes think many French hardly know the rest of the country exists.
Our music. American music is ubiquitous here. Especially American jazz, which they adore. They watch a lot of our TV and movies, too.
Our history. The French are very knowledgeable about their history, and ours. It's covered well in their schools and it has made history buffs out of many. I cannot count how many times I’ve met a new French person, even a blue collar worker, and they immediately want to launch into a discussion of US history. Most know way more than I do!
As always, it’s the cultural differences here that fascinate! One could I’m sure make a similar list in reverse—maybe France and the US are fated to have a love-hate relationship. What are your thoughts, and what’s on your list?
Let's mash up these two cultures with a recipe that's perfect for apéros or a starter course. It has some decidedly French flavors, but comes to us from Debbie, my Canadian/American expat friend, by way of her friend Jocelyn. I think everyone Debbie serves it to asks for the recipe! It's also very pretty, and easy to eat.
RECIPE: Debbie and Jocelyn's Parmesan Walnut Salad in Endive Leaves
1 small clove garlic, minced and mashed to a paste with 1/2 tsp salt
1 tablespoon mayo
2 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 tablespoon olive oil
1/4 lb Parmesan Reggianno sliced and diced to 1/8" peices
(about 1 cup)
1/2 cup finely chopped peeled apple
Belgian endives (small – cut ends off to easily peel leaves – sometimes you have to cut the ends more than once)
1 cup walnuts, toasted lightly and chopped fine
1/4 cup finely chopped flat leaf parsley
Whisk together garlic paste, mayo, lemon juice and oil. Stir in parmesan and apple. Salad may be prepared to this point one day ahead and chilled. Trim endives and separate leaves. Wrap in dampened paper towels and put in plastic bag, again one day in advance if you like. When you're ready to serve it, stir walnuts and parsley into salad, scoop about 1 tablespoon salad into individual endive leaves and serve.
In the COMMENTS: Apparently iced tea has been in France for a while, bottled and on the soft drink aisle which I never frequent, so I've missed it, but which several of you have "suffered with", as Susan says. Jane, you are being quite British but in the South, sugar in iced tea is just a given! Candi, this tea maker you mention is new to me. Peggy, I'll never catch up with you in the tea department. Natalia, I must try the tea you mentioned because one of my close friends will drink only that! Carrie knows a site which takes cold-brewed iced tea to a new level. Frank, you've hit on a great idea for the bistros (hope y'all are over your covid, bonne santé).
Favorite READS and SHOWS: our reader-in-residence Natalia says Dictionary of Lost Words is fun and different. I'm dipping into a Graham Green book I haven't read, called Our Man in Havana, since Travels with My Aunt is one of my favorite books. And our reader Barbara also like watching Signora Volpe, discussed last time, and says she also loves Candice Renoir and Balthazar (on Acorn), which I can't wait to try.
64 thoughts on “Why the French Hate Americans…and Why They Love Us”
Monique,
I am an American and agree 100% with everything that you said. I speak very little French but do what I can when travelling and have always been treated with nothing but kindness and a good dose of proper manners by the French. Religion should always be regarded as a private matter and never be legislated. I find it mind-blowing that nothing sensible is being done about gun violence in America. Also, it has been my experience that the US service industry is totally frustrating and stressful to deal with.
Hi
A French “no” is not an American “no”. It is an invitation to negotiate, to beat around the bush and find a positive answer or a compromise hidden somewhere. As a French native, I never take “no” for an answer! 😉
Hi
A French “no” is not an American “no”. It is an invitation to negotiate, to beat around the bush and find a positive answer or a compromise hidden somewhere. As a French native, I never take “no” for an answer! 😉
Hi
A French “no” is not an American “no”. It is an invitation to negotiate, to beat around the bush and find a positive answer or a compromise hidden somewhere. As a French native, I never take “no” for an answer! 😉
A thought provoking post – I agree with “insincere” and the surprise with the cult of Trump. Insincere because people ask you “how are you” and don’t care to know really or smile at you and it’s not easy to make friends.
I am French and worked in Georgia for a long time with foreign trainees – when I asked them what surprised them the most about the US, it was not only the French but also trainees from other countries who answered the in your face religion of people here. The fact that people have stickers for Jesus on their cars, wear religious tee shirts, etc. My sister-in-law came to see if she could stay a year to better her English language and because of the religion she left after a month. I had a small group of Egyptian trainees over one Thanksgiving and tried to find families for them for meals, and most of them had to listen to Christian prayers before the meal. I also think that there is a culture of anti-intellectualism – at least in the Deep South where I live. They ban certain books in public libraries. I read in a French book that the American culture and French culture are as different as the American and Chinese or Indian, and I believe it. I don’t mean the culture is bad, just that it is different. Also the nationalism –the flags everywhere. You won’t find flags on a multitude of house or cars in France as your find here. Maybe French people used to enjoy coming here but for the last few years when I invited family or friends to come over, they said they were too scared to come and preferred Canada.
A thought provoking post – I agree with “insincere” and the surprise with the cult of Trump. Insincere because people ask you “how are you” and don’t care to know really or smile at you and it’s not easy to make friends.
I am French and worked in Georgia for a long time with foreign trainees – when I asked them what surprised them the most about the US, it was not only the French but also trainees from other countries who answered the in your face religion of people here. The fact that people have stickers for Jesus on their cars, wear religious tee shirts, etc. My sister-in-law came to see if she could stay a year to better her English language and because of the religion she left after a month. I had a small group of Egyptian trainees over one Thanksgiving and tried to find families for them for meals, and most of them had to listen to Christian prayers before the meal. I also think that there is a culture of anti-intellectualism – at least in the Deep South where I live. They ban certain books in public libraries. I read in a French book that the American culture and French culture are as different as the American and Chinese or Indian, and I believe it. I don’t mean the culture is bad, just that it is different. Also the nationalism –the flags everywhere. You won’t find flags on a multitude of house or cars in France as your find here. Maybe French people used to enjoy coming here but for the last few years when I invited family or friends to come over, they said they were too scared to come and preferred Canada.
40 years ago, I was 15 yrs. old. We hosted a foreign exchange student from france, so that my sister was able to live in Amsterdam for a year.
I fell in love with this young woman, and have never been the same since… just sayin.
A thought provoking post – I agree with “insincere” and the surprise with the cult of Trump. Insincere because people ask you “how are you” and don’t care to know really or smile at you and it’s not easy to make friends.
I am French and worked in Georgia for a long time with foreign trainees – when I asked them what surprised them the most about the US, it was not only the French but also trainees from other countries who answered the in your face religion of people here. The fact that people have stickers for Jesus on their cars, wear religious tee shirts, etc. My sister-in-law came to see if she could stay a year to better her English language and because of the religion she left after a month. I had a small group of Egyptian trainees over one Thanksgiving and tried to find families for them for meals, and most of them had to listen to Christian prayers before the meal. I also think that there is a culture of anti-intellectualism – at least in the Deep South where I live. They ban certain books in public libraries. I read in a French book that the American culture and French culture are as different as the American and Chinese or Indian, and I believe it. I don’t mean the culture is bad, just that it is different. Also the nationalism –the flags everywhere. You won’t find flags on a multitude of house or cars in France as your find here. Maybe French people used to enjoy coming here but for the last few years when I invited family or friends to come over, they said they were too scared to come and preferred Canada.
Spot on my dear!!!!
Spot on my dear!!!!
Spot on my dear!!!!
Nice article, and thought provoking. I enjoyed it 🙂
One thing that escapes even US citizens at large, is the US was never designed to be driven by a single person at the top. The US president really doesn’t have all that much power (by comparison), and by design they’re not supposed to. People tend to forget that they have state and local governments that more directly affect their everyday life than a president does. They also don’t pay much attention to Congress, which actually writes the laws and the checks. We focus way too much on who is president, and in turn (by our example), so does everyone else.
I’ll also mirror other comments about us being crass. Trust me, it annoys many of us, too. But we’re not all like that. The notion that we have this hatred for foreigners also isn’t true. Even in small towns, if you came from France with horrible English we’re actually intrigued and we will ask many questions like where you are from, what brings you here, what do you plan to see, what is it like in your home country, etc.
This is also a difference I’ve learned via a woman from Poland. It is very common for us to ask someone where they are from. Not meaning offense, but the idea that a person, their mother, or their grandparents, etc, came from another country is second nature to us so it’s a very common thing to ask because we can’t help but be curious. I never thought this was strange until she pointed it out to me. We don’t intend to be rude. For people in the US, experiencing another culture means an expensive plane ticket overseas. Those in Europe can hop a train and show up in another country in a handful of hours, so please forgive some of us if we’re not quite as well-traveled.
Nice article, and thought provoking. I enjoyed it 🙂
One thing that escapes even US citizens at large, is the US was never designed to be driven by a single person at the top. The US president really doesn’t have all that much power (by comparison), and by design they’re not supposed to. People tend to forget that they have state and local governments that more directly affect their everyday life than a president does. They also don’t pay much attention to Congress, which actually writes the laws and the checks. We focus way too much on who is president, and in turn (by our example), so does everyone else.
I’ll also mirror other comments about us being crass. Trust me, it annoys many of us, too. But we’re not all like that. The notion that we have this hatred for foreigners also isn’t true. Even in small towns, if you came from France with horrible English we’re actually intrigued and we will ask many questions like where you are from, what brings you here, what do you plan to see, what is it like in your home country, etc.
This is also a difference I’ve learned via a woman from Poland. It is very common for us to ask someone where they are from. Not meaning offense, but the idea that a person, their mother, or their grandparents, etc, came from another country is second nature to us so it’s a very common thing to ask because we can’t help but be curious. I never thought this was strange until she pointed it out to me. We don’t intend to be rude. For people in the US, experiencing another culture means an expensive plane ticket overseas. Those in Europe can hop a train and show up in another country in a handful of hours, so please forgive some of us if we’re not quite as well-traveled.
Nice article, and thought provoking. I enjoyed it 🙂
One thing that escapes even US citizens at large, is the US was never designed to be driven by a single person at the top. The US president really doesn’t have all that much power (by comparison), and by design they’re not supposed to. People tend to forget that they have state and local governments that more directly affect their everyday life than a president does. They also don’t pay much attention to Congress, which actually writes the laws and the checks. We focus way too much on who is president, and in turn (by our example), so does everyone else.
I’ll also mirror other comments about us being crass. Trust me, it annoys many of us, too. But we’re not all like that. The notion that we have this hatred for foreigners also isn’t true. Even in small towns, if you came from France with horrible English we’re actually intrigued and we will ask many questions like where you are from, what brings you here, what do you plan to see, what is it like in your home country, etc.
This is also a difference I’ve learned via a woman from Poland. It is very common for us to ask someone where they are from. Not meaning offense, but the idea that a person, their mother, or their grandparents, etc, came from another country is second nature to us so it’s a very common thing to ask because we can’t help but be curious. I never thought this was strange until she pointed it out to me. We don’t intend to be rude. For people in the US, experiencing another culture means an expensive plane ticket overseas. Those in Europe can hop a train and show up in another country in a handful of hours, so please forgive some of us if we’re not quite as well-traveled.