I’ve posted about cultural differences many times, and please add this to that list: going to the hairdressser. Fun fact: France has more coiffeurs per capita most other European countries.
Which is why, when I see young French women with long flowing locks, I wonder why their hair often looks a bit stringy and, well, dirty.
We just watched a long French TV series, each with a different leading lady. All of them it seemed had gone quite a while without a good wash, and they certainly didn’t appear to own a comb. Vogue describes the current French look as "bohemian, poetic and soft" and even suggests that you go to bed with your hair wet and do nothing when you wake up. But they add: "There is nothing natural about “natural”; messy and we look like we don’t care; too controlled and we can appear too prim. There will be nothing quick or easy about this dishevelment." Hence, the proliferation of hair salons, to acheive messy yet poetic hair.
I found another answer to the stringy hair look from the many French hair salons I’ve visited (at least a dozen, over the years). They alway ask how often I wash my hair, and they are invariably appalled when I give my very American answer: every two or three days. Mais quel horreur! Never, ever more than once a week, I am admonished, and even longer is better. Over-washing will dry your hair out.
In the (politically incorrect) ad below, you see the French look: what we might call "beach hair", unwashed and uncombed. (And ladies, don't you always dress like this when you're using power tools?)
Then there are the haircuts. You can tell the stylists exactly what you want, but that may not matter much. Once, after having told a new hairdresser that I am tall so I never wear my hair short, and please just trim it lightly, I left in tears with what was nearly a buzz cut. Just this past week, I asked my stylist to tone down my summer-blonded hair just a bit. He proceeded to dye it a deep, dark brown.
When I asked a French friend why my style frequently varied so dramatically from my instructions, she looked at me like I had just fallen out of a coconut tree. “Why because they are French, of course. They do as they please.”
But after 20 years here, we’ve just learned another astonishing difference. Ron noticed that his coiffeur always tries to part his hair on the wrong side. I’ve noticed the exact same thing, with mine. So Ron asked him: is there a reason you always try to part it on the other side?
Monsieur’s response: “In France, women part their hair on the right, and men on the left”.
We knew the French had rules for most everything, but hair parts? This was news.
I have just googled this and I discovered that through the Middle Ages and into the Renaissance period in Europe, left-side hair parting was associated with nobility and sophistication. And so it continues, I suppose, but for French males alone.
So now we are both experimenting with reversing our parts to the French way. For me, it’s a bit hard to get used to the right, after a lifetime of left. Ron wonders, if we visit the States, will we go back to our usual parts, then have to flip our parts back when we land in Paris?
I discovered this week, when I posed the "part" question to a couple of other French coiffeuses, that there is no agreement on the subject (that too, is to be expected from the French). One said, it all depends on if you are droitier or gaucher (right or left handed). Another sniffed that it depends on which side "opens up your face" the best.
Dear Readers, I would love to hear your experiences with French hairdressers. Any tales for us? Or maybe you've had bizarre encounters in the States as well. Do tell.
In the COMMENTS: Emily and Francine, un grand merci à vous aussi. And also on Facebook, to Sandra, Joan, Linda ,and Ali. And of course to Natalia who has great books for us as usual. Ellen, you are right, Antwerp has more of a human scale than Amsterdam, and is imminently walkable. Anne Marie–ha! I wondered what Bunny Bowling was too.
Favorite READS: Natalia has two books for on the subject of art, and the art of the table: Renoir's Table and Monet's Table.
In the bad news department: Hurricane Milton followed close on the heels of Helene today, and our hearts break for those in their paths. I've been reading about the best way to help–which, unless you are close by, is to send money to the pros who know how to deal with this.The American Red Cross, and United Way are working hard. And don't forget all those poor lost and abandoned animals. The Humane Society of the US has teams in the south, and are helping shelters. (Natalia, your quote about animals is one of my favorites!).
42 thoughts on “Parting Ways with French Hairdressers”
Regarding once-per-week washing, I wish I had your hairdresser. I am intimidated by French “coiffeur, who prefers clean hair when I come in. This has me nervously calculating just when to do the shampooing—ideally 24 hours before my appointment. On the upside the head massage is terrific! If only he could cut my hair in a straight line… Finally, I am told that hairspray is not sexy. So then why does he break this rule each time? Va savoir! Go figure!
Regarding once-per-week washing, I wish I had your hairdresser. I am intimidated by French “coiffeur, who prefers clean hair when I come in. This has me nervously calculating just when to do the shampooing—ideally 24 hours before my appointment. On the upside the head massage is terrific! If only he could cut my hair in a straight line… Finally, I am told that hairspray is not sexy. So then why does he break this rule each time? Va savoir! Go figure!
Regarding once-per-week washing, I wish I had your hairdresser. I am intimidated by French “coiffeur, who prefers clean hair when I come in. This has me nervously calculating just when to do the shampooing—ideally 24 hours before my appointment. On the upside the head massage is terrific! If only he could cut my hair in a straight line… Finally, I am told that hairspray is not sexy. So then why does he break this rule each time? Va savoir! Go figure!
If only I had hair to part!
If only I had hair to part!
If only I had hair to part!
Me too. There’s no way of making a part if you’re bald. I go to a cheap barber (€16) who can take care of it all in 15 minutes.
Me too. There’s no way of making a part if you’re bald. I go to a cheap barber (€16) who can take care of it all in 15 minutes.
Me too. There’s no way of making a part if you’re bald. I go to a cheap barber (€16) who can take care of it all in 15 minutes.
Great article Lynn. For fifty-eight years I parted my hair on the left, but once I moved to France the hairdresser immediately shifted my part to the right side, claiming it was more flattering. She’s right, but thanks to your article I now understand the cultural reason for the change. Fascinating. Who knew?
Great article Lynn. For fifty-eight years I parted my hair on the left, but once I moved to France the hairdresser immediately shifted my part to the right side, claiming it was more flattering. She’s right, but thanks to your article I now understand the cultural reason for the change. Fascinating. Who knew?
Great article Lynn. For fifty-eight years I parted my hair on the left, but once I moved to France the hairdresser immediately shifted my part to the right side, claiming it was more flattering. She’s right, but thanks to your article I now understand the cultural reason for the change. Fascinating. Who knew?
Such a fun article! I have so many crazy/awful stories of French hairdressers and results that shocked me. Just yesterday, my husband walked into my hairdresser’s with me. We had driven an hour and a half to go to what I told him was absolutely the best and yes, totally worth the long travel time. On this high recommendation he decided he’d get a cut while he waited for me. He sat down and said his hair, (beautiful, silver gray curls normally about 3″ long) was too long. Without a question she started cutting and before he could say ‘wait a minute’ he had a buzz cut with a few curls about an inch long on the top! In the 40 years I’ve known him I’ve never seen him look this way!
Maybe because I showed my guy a photo of the last time he did it my hair was, fortunately, almost as I expected –at least this time. He even handed me a comb and asked me to show him where I parted it. On the left, of coarse. He obliged without comment.
After your article I won’t worry anymore that the fault lies in my inability to communicate accurately in French. It was very enlightening. Thank you!
Such a fun article! I have so many crazy/awful stories of French hairdressers and results that shocked me. Just yesterday, my husband walked into my hairdresser’s with me. We had driven an hour and a half to go to what I told him was absolutely the best and yes, totally worth the long travel time. On this high recommendation he decided he’d get a cut while he waited for me. He sat down and said his hair, (beautiful, silver gray curls normally about 3″ long) was too long. Without a question she started cutting and before he could say ‘wait a minute’ he had a buzz cut with a few curls about an inch long on the top! In the 40 years I’ve known him I’ve never seen him look this way!
Maybe because I showed my guy a photo of the last time he did it my hair was, fortunately, almost as I expected –at least this time. He even handed me a comb and asked me to show him where I parted it. On the left, of coarse. He obliged without comment.
After your article I won’t worry anymore that the fault lies in my inability to communicate accurately in French. It was very enlightening. Thank you!
Such a fun article! I have so many crazy/awful stories of French hairdressers and results that shocked me. Just yesterday, my husband walked into my hairdresser’s with me. We had driven an hour and a half to go to what I told him was absolutely the best and yes, totally worth the long travel time. On this high recommendation he decided he’d get a cut while he waited for me. He sat down and said his hair, (beautiful, silver gray curls normally about 3″ long) was too long. Without a question she started cutting and before he could say ‘wait a minute’ he had a buzz cut with a few curls about an inch long on the top! In the 40 years I’ve known him I’ve never seen him look this way!
Maybe because I showed my guy a photo of the last time he did it my hair was, fortunately, almost as I expected –at least this time. He even handed me a comb and asked me to show him where I parted it. On the left, of coarse. He obliged without comment.
After your article I won’t worry anymore that the fault lies in my inability to communicate accurately in French. It was very enlightening. Thank you!
Dear Lynn,your wonderful post (with those super pictures,bien sur!) really had me laughing out loud! Especially because of that little doll(with whom you and I have had corresponding haircuts!)–and I must confess,after a crummy hairdo is exactly how I’m sure I look!
I have thin/fine hair,and out of necessity,now keep it short.(The enchanting aging process has “helped”me shrink to 4’11 ).I tried to have flowing long locks ;after being compared to having spaniel ears,I decided that look was definitely not for me! Well,long story short,ma coiffereuse in Paris decided that the look definitely WAS for me and “trimmed” it in such a fashion that my only refuge became wearing a beret!
My book suggestion this time is a wonderful memoir by Ina Garten(The Barefoot Contessa): “Be Ready When The Luck Happens”. She has always been a favorite of mine,and every recipe of hers that I’ve made(and there many ,along with many cookbooks) has been a success. Parts of her story are something of a surprise to me,but this volume is well written,entertaining,and thoroughly enjoyable. She includes some recipes and lots of photographs.Really quite an incredible woman.
Dear Lynn,your wonderful post (with those super pictures,bien sur!) really had me laughing out loud! Especially because of that little doll(with whom you and I have had corresponding haircuts!)–and I must confess,after a crummy hairdo is exactly how I’m sure I look!
I have thin/fine hair,and out of necessity,now keep it short.(The enchanting aging process has “helped”me shrink to 4’11 ).I tried to have flowing long locks ;after being compared to having spaniel ears,I decided that look was definitely not for me! Well,long story short,ma coiffereuse in Paris decided that the look definitely WAS for me and “trimmed” it in such a fashion that my only refuge became wearing a beret!
My book suggestion this time is a wonderful memoir by Ina Garten(The Barefoot Contessa): “Be Ready When The Luck Happens”. She has always been a favorite of mine,and every recipe of hers that I’ve made(and there many ,along with many cookbooks) has been a success. Parts of her story are something of a surprise to me,but this volume is well written,entertaining,and thoroughly enjoyable. She includes some recipes and lots of photographs.Really quite an incredible woman.
Dear Lynn,your wonderful post (with those super pictures,bien sur!) really had me laughing out loud! Especially because of that little doll(with whom you and I have had corresponding haircuts!)–and I must confess,after a crummy hairdo is exactly how I’m sure I look!
I have thin/fine hair,and out of necessity,now keep it short.(The enchanting aging process has “helped”me shrink to 4’11 ).I tried to have flowing long locks ;after being compared to having spaniel ears,I decided that look was definitely not for me! Well,long story short,ma coiffereuse in Paris decided that the look definitely WAS for me and “trimmed” it in such a fashion that my only refuge became wearing a beret!
My book suggestion this time is a wonderful memoir by Ina Garten(The Barefoot Contessa): “Be Ready When The Luck Happens”. She has always been a favorite of mine,and every recipe of hers that I’ve made(and there many ,along with many cookbooks) has been a success. Parts of her story are something of a surprise to me,but this volume is well written,entertaining,and thoroughly enjoyable. She includes some recipes and lots of photographs.Really quite an incredible woman.
Lynn
Interesting article indeed. I grew up and lived in France for 30 years. Been in the USA for 40 plus years and I have never heard of such a thing about the different ways to part your hair whether in the US or France.
I always parted my hair on the left and so does my husband. Nobody in France made us change. I know I try to get a French hairdresser in the US often so I can have a more stylish hairstyle. In France I am not worried about the hairstyle. It will always look good. It is true that when my husband goes to France hairdressers his hair is always cropped more though. Maybe communication problem???
Lynn
Interesting article indeed. I grew up and lived in France for 30 years. Been in the USA for 40 plus years and I have never heard of such a thing about the different ways to part your hair whether in the US or France.
I always parted my hair on the left and so does my husband. Nobody in France made us change. I know I try to get a French hairdresser in the US often so I can have a more stylish hairstyle. In France I am not worried about the hairstyle. It will always look good. It is true that when my husband goes to France hairdressers his hair is always cropped more though. Maybe communication problem???
Lynn
Interesting article indeed. I grew up and lived in France for 30 years. Been in the USA for 40 plus years and I have never heard of such a thing about the different ways to part your hair whether in the US or France.
I always parted my hair on the left and so does my husband. Nobody in France made us change. I know I try to get a French hairdresser in the US often so I can have a more stylish hairstyle. In France I am not worried about the hairstyle. It will always look good. It is true that when my husband goes to France hairdressers his hair is always cropped more though. Maybe communication problem???
I always like to have my hair cut in a multisex salon.
Here in the U.K. the coifeusse (occasionally the coifeur) will use scissors.
Several times, whilst staying in a favourite little French town (Lynn and Ron I think you know Chagny) we’ve had our hair done in a very pleasant salon.
The owner only uses scissors for the final tidying up. For the main event, she uses a comb and a cut throat razor and gives a really excellent job but the first time I went there, she was absolutely horrified when I told her what we call that implement in English!
I always like to have my hair cut in a multisex salon.
Here in the U.K. the coifeusse (occasionally the coifeur) will use scissors.
Several times, whilst staying in a favourite little French town (Lynn and Ron I think you know Chagny) we’ve had our hair done in a very pleasant salon.
The owner only uses scissors for the final tidying up. For the main event, she uses a comb and a cut throat razor and gives a really excellent job but the first time I went there, she was absolutely horrified when I told her what we call that implement in English!
I always like to have my hair cut in a multisex salon.
Here in the U.K. the coifeusse (occasionally the coifeur) will use scissors.
Several times, whilst staying in a favourite little French town (Lynn and Ron I think you know Chagny) we’ve had our hair done in a very pleasant salon.
The owner only uses scissors for the final tidying up. For the main event, she uses a comb and a cut throat razor and gives a really excellent job but the first time I went there, she was absolutely horrified when I told her what we call that implement in English!
I am a barber and french here in Louisiana, this will be a topic of conversation in the barbershop this week. Very interesting how in france the part is explained, their explanation is their opinion. But tge growth pattern from the crown of the head determines your natural part and after combing or brushing it will lay perfectly with the growth pattern ( direction of growth) of the hair. Refers to both male and female. Plain and simply.
I am a barber and french here in Louisiana, this will be a topic of conversation in the barbershop this week. Very interesting how in france the part is explained, their explanation is their opinion. But tge growth pattern from the crown of the head determines your natural part and after combing or brushing it will lay perfectly with the growth pattern ( direction of growth) of the hair. Refers to both male and female. Plain and simply.
I am a barber and french here in Louisiana, this will be a topic of conversation in the barbershop this week. Very interesting how in france the part is explained, their explanation is their opinion. But tge growth pattern from the crown of the head determines your natural part and after combing or brushing it will lay perfectly with the growth pattern ( direction of growth) of the hair. Refers to both male and female. Plain and simply.
Mine naturally parts in the middle,, make what you will of that
Mine naturally parts in the middle,, make what you will of that
Mine naturally parts in the middle,, make what you will of that
I’m stunned by two comments – one to Ellen and one to you, Lynn.
I can’t imagine Rudy with short hair and you with brown hair! I’ve had a few odd haircuts and a few hairdressers who want to part my hair on the other side BUT, never had one who changed my hair color without permission! Yikes!
I’m stunned by two comments – one to Ellen and one to you, Lynn.
I can’t imagine Rudy with short hair and you with brown hair! I’ve had a few odd haircuts and a few hairdressers who want to part my hair on the other side BUT, never had one who changed my hair color without permission! Yikes!
I’m stunned by two comments – one to Ellen and one to you, Lynn.
I can’t imagine Rudy with short hair and you with brown hair! I’ve had a few odd haircuts and a few hairdressers who want to part my hair on the other side BUT, never had one who changed my hair color without permission! Yikes!
My “french hairdresser” tale is about our daughter. Sarah spent a fabulous year in Brittany on Rotary Exchange. We cannot recommend that program enough, academically and for personal development. She decided that she needed a makeover, including hair color, to represent her new more sophisticated self, before our family arrived for a visit. Her concern started when he asked if she wanted “slutty” or “classy” hair color. Being very nervous about what her host parents and the 50 Rotarians in the club who were responsible for her well being would think, she quickly said , classy please! We were greeted at the train station, not by our former (small southern town) child, but a young woman with a cute bob cut and hair the color of Cabernet Sauvignon. The deep purple shade did surprise us a bit. Apparently, it was a surprise to her as well, but her allowance would not allow for another color change. We were so glad to see our beautiful, purple haired, daughter so happy and thriving that we soon adjusted. In all of the years since, I do not think that she has been tempted to trust her hair color to another stylist on either side of the Atlantic.
My “french hairdresser” tale is about our daughter. Sarah spent a fabulous year in Brittany on Rotary Exchange. We cannot recommend that program enough, academically and for personal development. She decided that she needed a makeover, including hair color, to represent her new more sophisticated self, before our family arrived for a visit. Her concern started when he asked if she wanted “slutty” or “classy” hair color. Being very nervous about what her host parents and the 50 Rotarians in the club who were responsible for her well being would think, she quickly said , classy please! We were greeted at the train station, not by our former (small southern town) child, but a young woman with a cute bob cut and hair the color of Cabernet Sauvignon. The deep purple shade did surprise us a bit. Apparently, it was a surprise to her as well, but her allowance would not allow for another color change. We were so glad to see our beautiful, purple haired, daughter so happy and thriving that we soon adjusted. In all of the years since, I do not think that she has been tempted to trust her hair color to another stylist on either side of the Atlantic.
My “french hairdresser” tale is about our daughter. Sarah spent a fabulous year in Brittany on Rotary Exchange. We cannot recommend that program enough, academically and for personal development. She decided that she needed a makeover, including hair color, to represent her new more sophisticated self, before our family arrived for a visit. Her concern started when he asked if she wanted “slutty” or “classy” hair color. Being very nervous about what her host parents and the 50 Rotarians in the club who were responsible for her well being would think, she quickly said , classy please! We were greeted at the train station, not by our former (small southern town) child, but a young woman with a cute bob cut and hair the color of Cabernet Sauvignon. The deep purple shade did surprise us a bit. Apparently, it was a surprise to her as well, but her allowance would not allow for another color change. We were so glad to see our beautiful, purple haired, daughter so happy and thriving that we soon adjusted. In all of the years since, I do not think that she has been tempted to trust her hair color to another stylist on either side of the Atlantic.
Oh yes. The French hairdresser. I went a few times but realized they would never listen to a thing I said, so I gave up. I’m not saying I got a bad cut, but they changed my style dramatically and because I wasn’t able to replicate it on my own it never looked right. And I always said “no razor” because it leaves my ends frizzy unless I have unlimited time and skill to blow dry it as they did. You can believe me when I say I always declined a color touch-up. As for the part on left or right, I do both. My hair naturally parts on the left, but when it’s not washing day and it’s looking a little flat on top, I flip my hair in the other direction to give it some lift.
Oh yes. The French hairdresser. I went a few times but realized they would never listen to a thing I said, so I gave up. I’m not saying I got a bad cut, but they changed my style dramatically and because I wasn’t able to replicate it on my own it never looked right. And I always said “no razor” because it leaves my ends frizzy unless I have unlimited time and skill to blow dry it as they did. You can believe me when I say I always declined a color touch-up. As for the part on left or right, I do both. My hair naturally parts on the left, but when it’s not washing day and it’s looking a little flat on top, I flip my hair in the other direction to give it some lift.
Oh yes. The French hairdresser. I went a few times but realized they would never listen to a thing I said, so I gave up. I’m not saying I got a bad cut, but they changed my style dramatically and because I wasn’t able to replicate it on my own it never looked right. And I always said “no razor” because it leaves my ends frizzy unless I have unlimited time and skill to blow dry it as they did. You can believe me when I say I always declined a color touch-up. As for the part on left or right, I do both. My hair naturally parts on the left, but when it’s not washing day and it’s looking a little flat on top, I flip my hair in the other direction to give it some lift.
Oh, boy, I have a masestro in Rome, at NOI Salon, and am so spoiled that I’m thinking of giving him a ticket to France to come do hair for several friends and me!!!! HE IS A GENIUS. So, yes, I am spoiled rotten and can’t find anyone in my little village who will listen except one single hairdresser with a tiny shop and whe Covid was everywhere I was NOT going there. So I haven’t been yet and use Garnier lightener on roots but I’m gathering courage to see her and hope no one is sneezing in the waiting area with 2 chairs. But she is good. And in LA once I had the guy take down all my curlers before doing a light perm (years ago, I geve those up) because he had bored me to tears with complaints about his family, his job, his lover and more. I got un-done, paid and walked out, knees shaking but I did it. I see NO reason to put up with another’s probelms and what he or she thinks I should be cutting or not cutting off when I have known my hair for…..several eons. LOVED your article.
Oh, boy, I have a masestro in Rome, at NOI Salon, and am so spoiled that I’m thinking of giving him a ticket to France to come do hair for several friends and me!!!! HE IS A GENIUS. So, yes, I am spoiled rotten and can’t find anyone in my little village who will listen except one single hairdresser with a tiny shop and whe Covid was everywhere I was NOT going there. So I haven’t been yet and use Garnier lightener on roots but I’m gathering courage to see her and hope no one is sneezing in the waiting area with 2 chairs. But she is good. And in LA once I had the guy take down all my curlers before doing a light perm (years ago, I geve those up) because he had bored me to tears with complaints about his family, his job, his lover and more. I got un-done, paid and walked out, knees shaking but I did it. I see NO reason to put up with another’s probelms and what he or she thinks I should be cutting or not cutting off when I have known my hair for…..several eons. LOVED your article.
Oh, boy, I have a masestro in Rome, at NOI Salon, and am so spoiled that I’m thinking of giving him a ticket to France to come do hair for several friends and me!!!! HE IS A GENIUS. So, yes, I am spoiled rotten and can’t find anyone in my little village who will listen except one single hairdresser with a tiny shop and whe Covid was everywhere I was NOT going there. So I haven’t been yet and use Garnier lightener on roots but I’m gathering courage to see her and hope no one is sneezing in the waiting area with 2 chairs. But she is good. And in LA once I had the guy take down all my curlers before doing a light perm (years ago, I geve those up) because he had bored me to tears with complaints about his family, his job, his lover and more. I got un-done, paid and walked out, knees shaking but I did it. I see NO reason to put up with another’s probelms and what he or she thinks I should be cutting or not cutting off when I have known my hair for…..several eons. LOVED your article.